Saturday, 4 December 2021

Confidence - where does it go when you get older

Reasons to be cheerful  - It occurred to me the other night while making food (unrelated) what the essence of mindfulness is. We hear a lot about it - defined as living in the moment I understand. 

So what happens if we do not ‘live in the moment’  - well I concluded we cheat our destiny by trying to predict it or influence it. In fact it goes deeper in that by preoccupying ourselves with in the main things we cannot change we are also cheating those around us  - especially those who may have less time than us. 

It's almost ironic that by not trying to change the future we can actually embellish it by being focussed on things we love the most and focus our time and energy towards them… focussed mindfulness if there is such a thing. 

Anyhow it's how I cope in these darker months whenever my mind decides to try and go a wandering I send it a reminder that unless it's good wandering it needs to be back in the moment as if I can’t change or significantly influence its focus of direction its wasting those cells that will get lost in the thought processes…. 

All of the above underpins my thinking that trying to control everything ultimatly influences confidence in as much as when things cant be controlled our planning confidence takes a hit... a beating then we feel less confident. And here is the rub that lack of confidence from not being able to control the future rolls into all things that need confidence... it's almost a spiraling circle of confidence sapping. 

So as I get older I try to live in the moment, understanding there are lots of things in my future I cannot change, some I can influence which I do ( mainly health and fitness ) but those other things slip in and get ejected as quickly. I use a mental mind map with my thoughts as the central bubble and those thoughts about things I cannot change I see forming then popping like the bubbles from a child's bubble wand.... 

So don't beat yourself up if you reflect negatively on your ability to do things.... move on, chuck it over your shoulder, park it  - life is really far too short and don't get tricked into waiting on things you can't change.

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